Holy crap. What a flippin’ weekend.

Oh, sorry.

Hey friends, welcome to this week’s installment of Me? A Model?

Okay, so you’ll have to excuse my mood today, I’m not my usual jovial self. I had one doozy of a weekend and I. Am. Feelin’ it.

The time: Just a couple of days ago
The place: my cushion
I’m feeling: as spent as an old $1 bill

As you may have heard, Chrissy and Justin went away for a lovely little vacation this weekend and left me to my own devices. To fend for myself. To survive using only my instincts, wit and a single match that they left me that I ate immediately after they walked out the door.

Okay, so maybe that’s an exaggeration. But they did heartlessly abandon me so that they could jaunt up to Vermont or some crap.

Either way, I may have acted out a little bit out of anger, and it has really come back to bite me in the rear. The second I realized that I wasn’t going with them, I started doing everything that I’m not supposed to do.

Sit on all of the couch cushions, not just my own? Check.
Sit on Justin’s pillow? Check.
Find a stray sock and run under the bed with it 1,000 times? Check.
Run up and down the stairs all night long, without even caring how loud I was being? CHECK!
Invite all of my friends over and have a huge party and play cards and eat walnuts? Check.

All right, so I may not have actually done that last one, but I wanted them to think that I did so I staged it. I don’t even like walnuts.

Well as it turns out, rebellion really takes it out of you and I was seriously wiped by the time they got home on Saturday. I was passed out on the couch trying to recover and Chrissy snaps that picture of me and she’s all “Ha ha Brody, you look like a bat!” and I’m all “YOU look like a bat. CRAM IT!” and went back to sleep. I know it sounds harsh but whatever, I was exhausted.

I think I learned my lesson though. I’m no spring chicken and I just can’t live that kind of wild lifestyle anymore. Phew.