I’ve mentioned before that there seems to be something about me that invites awkward, uncomfortable situations (here, here and here, as examples. Oh and here.). Luckily I’ve got a few friends to whom this also seems to happen. It’s great spending time with them because while you know that your “normal” friends sympathize with your ridiculous tales, these weirdos can empathize.

And also because you know that if uncomfortable things happen to these types when they’re solo, you can bet that something great will happen when they’re together.

Two of my very good friends from college just so happen to share this trait. Our 4 years of college were crammed full of brutal encounters that left us with stories that still make is laugh until we cry, so it was only fitting that we capped off our college experience on a cringe-worthy note.

We were all staying in a hotel together during graduation weekend and one morning we were headed out to run an errand or attend some sort of graduation event. We walked past the dining room of the hotel and noticed that the banquet tables were full of breakfast food, so we decided to grab a bite to eat before heading out for the day. The dining room was empty and we were commenting on our good luck that we beat the crowds to the continental breakfast. This probably should have been the first hint that something was wrong, since it was not even a little bit early, which meant that we definitely weren’t “beating the crowds.” We filled up our plates, grabbed some coffee and sat down to eat.

After a few minutes, a gentleman came over to our table.

Gentleman: Good morning ladies.

Us: Good morning!

Gentleman: Where did you get that food?

Us, assuming he wanted some breakfast too: Oh, right over there! There’s a bunch of it!

Gentleman: Right. It looks like the food was covered. Did you take the covers off of everything?

Us: Yup! We were the first ones here, I guess!

Gentleman, starting to sound a little annoyed: How nice. So you’re here for the convention?

Us: Nope, we’re here because we are graduating this weekend.

Gentleman, now definitely sounding annoyed: Congratulations. That food is for the convention that is taking place in a few minutes.

Us, horrified: Oh! We didn’t know. Sorry, we thought it was for everyone…

Gentleman, seeming less and less gentlemanly: It was covered.

Us: Yeah, we thought that we were just the first…

Man: It was covered for a reason.

Us: Oh…

Man: So…

Us: So…should we put it…

Man, disgusted: No, don’t put it back. Just go.

Looking back, we probably should have offered to pay for the food. But to be fair, the hotel probably should have had some sort of guard or sign there to warn guests that it wasn’t a free-for-all, so I think we should call it a draw.

But all in all, a solid way to start our lives as mature, functional members of society.

When I was recalling this story, I couldn’t remember if it took place during graduation weekend or an alumni weekend, so I texted one of my partners in crime to check. She responded with, “Graduation. At alumni weekend, we were adults so we wouldn’t have done that.”

An excellent point. It was surely our our age and not our general way of life that got us in that situation.