Hola amigos! Welcome back! So nice to see you.

note: “hola amigos” is Spanish for “hello friends.” If you plan on keeping up with this segment, you should probably have a basic understanding of most of the romance languages.

Welcome to this week’s installment of Me? A Model? hosted by none other than me, Brody the hound!

Man, I really need some theme music. I mean, the picture is incredible (obviously) but some theme music would really just bring it home, you know?

But I digress.

If you’re beating the ground with your fists and tearing your hair out trying to figure out what I’m talking about, stop it. It’s okay. Just check out the Me? A Model? page for more information.

Let’s get to it!

The time: Last spring
The place: The living room. More specifically, Justin’s shoulder.
I’m feeling: Like the handsomest, stealthiest parrot to ever live

This picture was taken one night last year. Chrissy and Justin were eating dinner while watching TV (because apparently we live in a barn – what ever happened to eating at a dining room table?) and they were being really, really rude. I had been standing as still as a statue for upwards of 45 minutes, staring at Justin with an intense and unwavering gaze, and he still hadn’t given me his dinner. Not even one bite.

Sure, I had my dinner in the kitchen, but – color me surprised – it was kibble. Dumb old kibble. Here’s a thought – how about I eat a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup for dinner like you guys are? Did you ever think that maybe I would also like to dip a delicious sandwich into some delicious soup and enjoy it as much as you guys? I mean, sure, you would probably have to dip the sandwich into the soup and then hold it out for me to bite, and then I would probably just eat the whole sandwich in one bite and swallow it without chewing and then stare at you with eyes that say ‘where’s the rest, dummy?’ but regardless, maybe you should just get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich or seven.

But did they? Nope. So that’s when I had to take matters into my own hands. I was feeling especially stealth that night, so I sneaked over to Justin’s chair, shimmied up the side, and perched on his shoulder for optimal food access. I figured he wouldn’t even notice me since I’m so trim and light, and then when he was taking a bite of his food, I would make my move.

As it turns out, he had already finished his dinner and I’m not as light and trim as I thought.

Devastating.

With a heavy heart, I ate my goofy kibble. But mark my words: I shall return to your shoulder, and I shall eat all of your food. And you’ll never see me coming.