Hello, friends! Welcome to this week’s installment of Me? A Model? hosted by your very best friend, B-to-the-izzo (or “Brody,” for the less hip)!
I watched the Beyonce documentary last night and now I’m obviously considering a rap career. Don’t worry, I’ll mention you in my Grammy speech.
If you’re scratching your head trying to figure out what in tarnation is going on right now, shimmy on over to the Me? A Model? page for more information.
Let’s get to it!
The time: just the other day
The place: the couch
I’m feeling: like a boss
Sometimes after a long day of being awesome at life, I like to sit back, relax, and relish in my accomplishments. I mean, what’s the point of working hard if you don’t take the time to appreciate your success?
For instance, on this day in particular, I was fresh off of a kitchen heist. I had been watching Chrissy cook dinner for a little while and I noticed that she had only put 2 sweet potatoes in the oven to bake. At first I assumed that the sweet potatoes were both for me, since she knows that I love me a sweet potato. It occurred to me after a few minutes that Chrissy also loves sweet potatoes, so perhaps one of them was for her. A little selfish, sure, but I could get over it. But then Justin walked in the door and I really put two and two together.
The other sweet potato was for him.
Not for me.
Him.
And I’ll admit that I lost it a little bit. I went screaming into the foyer and ran away with his shoe. But since I do that every day, my actions failed to convey my true feelings. Just then, Justin went upstairs to change and Chrissy made the mistake of a lifetime. She took the sweet potatoes out of the oven and left them on the counter to cool down while she went into the other room. HA! What a dummy. I hopped right up there and huffed down one of those piping-hot taters before she could even blink. Sure, it burned the crap out of my mouth, but man alive, was it worth it.
And then it was just a matter of playing it cool. I sauntered into the living room and got comfy and just waited for those nerds to learn their lesson.
Cool as a cucumber.
I mean that metaphorically, of course. My mouth was on fire. I think I should have given that potato a minute to cool down…