When we last left
off, Justin was preparing a turkey for the big Christmas Day Turkey Off. The rules were simple: Justin would smoke a turkey and my brother PJ would fry a turkey and a panel of unbiased judges would perform a blind taste test and vote on a winner. We did the math and figured out what time they would need to start cooking for everything to be ready by the official start time (1pm). Recipes were researched and gear was set up in the backyard of my parents house. We were golden. We were pumped. We had visions of sugar plums turkeys dancing in our heads.
What we were was blinded with doe-eyed optimism.
Now, I’m sure some of you have heard about the dangers of deep-frying a turkey and consequently, I’m sure you have an idea of where this story is going. I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. It wasn’t PJ who ended up in the ER with burns to his arms and singed-off eyebrows (although he probably should have too), it was Justin. Poor, unsuspecting Justin got in a scuffle with a fireball; he put up one heck of a fight, but the fireball took this round.
As an aside, be sure you’re not confusing this with the last time he was in the ER, which is when he got bit by a dog (not our own dog, thank you very much):
He ended up with some 1st and 2nd-degree burns on his right hand and left arm. We were at the hospital for a couple of hours while they monitored him but no worries, he is doing A-ok now. See that thumbs-up? What a trooper.
The good news (well, for Justin and me at least) is that we were really, really far off on the cooking times for the turkeys and the smoked turkey wasn’t even ready until after we left the hospital (glass half full here folks)! Even though it ended up having to cook for about 4 hours longer than we had estimated (still not sure what happened there…), it came out great. Props to PJ for having the guts to tend to the smoked turkey that had just landed his brother-in-law in the hospital. We weren’t there for the great reveal of the fried turkey, but we had some after the fact and that was delicious too! There wasn’t an official vote but I think it might have been a tie. Justin should probably get some sympathy votes but it doesn’t seem likely with this crowd:
Just kidding. Everyone felt so bad that they were pretty much feeding him turkey and pie. Aside from a snag or two, it was a lovely Christmas…
…but maybe we’ll try a ham next year.