Or Manure If You Don’t Have Any Wrapping Paper…

An interesting fact about my mother is that she has an affinity for miniature horses. I’m not positive when it started, but there have been two stories in the media in the last couple of years that have really cemented her love for them:

1) Einstein: The World’s Smallest Horse
I thought that I would be lucky to find a picture of Einstein on a Google search, but as it turns out he’s a WAY bigger deal than I thought. He appears to have 2 websites, a Youtube channel, a Facebook page, a Twitter account and appearances on The View and Good Morning America (among others) under his belt. Oh, and a book. It’s called A Friend For Einstein, The Smallest Stallion. Einstein goes into more detail on his website:

When I came into the world, I weighed less than a cat and was no taller than a cereal box. I was a miniature miniature horse. Too small to run with the herd, I had to look outside my world of horses to find the perfect playmate. My book features full-color photographs of my adventures and the adorable creatures I’ve met. This inspiring story about finding a true friend will bring joy to nature lovers of all ages.

Who can’t relate to that? Here’s a shot of Einstein standing next to an average-sized horse. The photo hasn’t been doctored, he’s really this small:

So you can’t really blame my mom for falling for this little guy, he’s about as cute as they come.

2) Any story about Seeing-Eye Horses.
There was a story on the news about a blind person who had been matched up with a seeing-eye horse that would guide her around the city. I’m not sure if this is the exact horse (this one looks a little wild in the eye) but you get the general idea:

I think it was the sneakers that really sold her.

I remember driving down a winding rural road with my mom one day and her saying “Do you know what would be great? If we turned this corner up here and just came across a miniature horse farm. Wouldn’t that be great?”

Take-home message: my mom loves miniature horses.

I was at my parents house with my sister the other day and we got to talking about a news story that we saw recently about a bunch of minis (that’s what they’re called in the horse world) that had been neglected by their owner and would potentially be put up for adoption once they recovered. Naturally, we were encouraging my mother to look into adopting one. Well, adopting two since they like to have a companion. And naturally, my mother had already heard about them and was mulling it over. My mom was on board, but we all knew that my dad would take the most convincing. We made a lot of really valid points, such as:
-we would fence in the backyard and they could live out there and graze, so my dad wouldn’t have to mow the lawn. Everyone wins!
-it’s a fact that minis know how to wear sneakers (see photo above) so when they wanted to come in the house, we would make them put on booties so that they wouldn’t ruin the floors
-we could bring Brody and Riley over and they could practice herding the minis. That would ensure that all of our animals would get adequate exercise.

Plus, wouldn’t we all just love looking out into the backyard and seeing our herd?

They wouldn't be dressed up all the time, just most of the time. source

What a crew! We would be the talk of the block!

Still, we could tell that he wasn’t convinced. He didn’t even seem to be taking us seriously, which was evident when he (rather snidely) suggested that when we clean up after the minis, we take our…ahem…findings up to the side of the road and set up a manure stand to bring in the extra cash that it would take to feed them.

Dad: “You might as well, you girls used to sell anything up there.”

Sister: “Oh yeah, that was a great spot for a lemonade stand!”

Me: “Or a cookie stand, once you ran out of lemonade. And gum when you ran out of cookies.”

Sister: “Or wrapping paper if you didn’t any gum.”

Me: “Or Irish Step Dances if you didn’t have…wait, did you say wrapping paper? Where did you get wrapping paper?”

Sister: “You know, that tan paper that they use to stuff backpacks and purses. You just flatten it out and there you go – wrapping paper! Whatever, people bought it. Did you say Irish Step Dances?”

Me: “Yeah, we were killing it one day and we ran out of stuff to sell so when cars would stop, I would ask them if they wanted to see some Irish Step. Whatever, people bought it.”

So yeah, Dad, I’m pretty sure we could sell manure on that corner. Mother’s Day is coming up, now would be a good time to get Mom those minis.

5 thoughts on “Or Manure If You Don’t Have Any Wrapping Paper…

  1. Don’t misrepresent me – it wasn’t always brown paper – we scored some pretty nice patterns in a JanSport one year.

  2. Loved reading your blog…you are quite witty…where did that come from????
    I can’t wait to try a moscow mule…and eat a cannoli!!!

  3. Pingback: A Milestone! And Superlatives! | The Wily Hound

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