Hello! Happy Thursday. I hope your week is going well so far!

I’ve got a few things to talk about that alone probably wouldn’t make for much of a post but by their powers combined…well, it probably still won’t make for much of a post, but that’s what you’re getting.

Let’s do this, shall we?

• News from the home front: We have pretty much become a self-sustaining farm.

A few weeks back, I became kind of obsessed with the idea of growing my own crops. I had dreams of a big garden overflowing with cucumbers, tomatoes, squash, lettuce, green beans, and herbs. I was ready to get my paws dirty and till the land. I even went so far as to go to Home Depot and buy some little seeds and potting soil.

You may have noticed that those seed packets are unopened. That’s because buying the seeds was about as far as I got. By the time I got home and googled “how to grow crops” I was really losing steam with this project. According to the site that I read, I was supposed to plant the seeds in little individual pots and then after a few weeks when they sprout, I was supposed to transfer them to the ground. A few weeks?! Oh heck no. That gratification wouldn’t be nearly instant enough for this farmer.

So I went to plan B, which was to go back to Home Depot and get a little tomato plant that had already sprouted. Not one that already had tomatoes, but one that was little more ahead of the game than some silly seeds in a packet. So I picked up that bad boy and plopped it in a pot and it has been hanging out on the back porch ever since. I have watered it daily, adjusted it to get the right amount of sunlight and kept Brody from eating it like he did with my brother’s rosemary plant (B LOVES himself some rosemary).

I’m proud to say that all of that hard work paid off.

The crop is thriving.

I keep talking to Justin about our bounty but it seems like he doesn’t even really care. Then I tell him that we’ll be able to survive the winter thanks to the bounty, and he seems to care even less.

Whatever, he’ll be whistling a different tune come February when B and I are enjoying our tomatoes and Justin is eating snow.

And that’s not all. Nope, we have other crops as well.

A few weeks ago, I was at the supermarket with my mom. I needed to pick up some basil and she suggested getting a basil plant instead of a pre-picked package. “That way,” she said, “you can keep it on your windowsill and it will last all summer!” I didn’t have the heart to tell her that no, it probably wouldn’t last all summer since I would probably accidentally murder it, so we got it (actually, if I remember correctly, my mom got it). My parents came over for dinner that night and my mom ended up planting the basil plant in the windowsill off of our back porch. I don’t now how it happened, but that basil plant is still kickin’.

Oh, and those are chives behind the basil. No big deal, just my giant herb garden. What’s that? You wish we had a little fresh basil on our homemade pizza? Sure, ain’t no thang, let me just hop out to the garden to grab some.

I bet you thought that there couldn’t possibly be any more crops, right?

Well you were wrong. Really very wrong.

Did I say that were were pretty much a self-sufficient farm? Well I should probably add “vineyard” to that title because we’ve got grapes.

Yup, bunches of flippin’ grapes all over the place.

I can’t take credit for those, though-they’re just growing out there on their own. But you better believe that we’ve got 3 pair o’ grape-stomping booties ready to go once these things are ripe. Well, 4 pairs since B hasn’t learned to stomp grapes on his hind leggies yet. I know, what a slacker.

So that’s news on the home front.

• Other news: In addition to “Farmer” I now also hold the title of “Wizard”

I understand that if, after reading this other piece of news, you become so overcome with jealousy that you can no longer read this blog. That’s okay. I understand completely. Just know that green isn’t a great color on you.

A few weeks back, I got a text from Emily (Justin’s brother Josh’s girlfriend) that included a picture of Hogwarts Castle and some some Butterbeer. (I’m going to assume that everyone knows what I’m talking about here. If you recently bumped your head and are having trouble thinking straight, Hogwarts and Butterbeer play a role in the Harry Potter books.) After verifying with Justin that they hadn’t been accepted to Hogwarts as students, I made the assumption that they were visiting the Harry Potter park at Universal Studios in Florida. I tried to subdue my jealous rage and asked that they please send Luna Lovegood my best as she is my favorite character in the books. Emily promised that she would.

I assumed that was the end of it until this past weekend when we saw Emily and Josh up in Vermont. Emily said that she had a surprise for me and bestowed upon me the most glorious gift of all time:

Yes, that’s right. A wand.

But not just any wand…

Luna’s wand. And it’s glorious.

I’ve been practicing my spells ever since.