Oh hey there! Brody here.

You’re looking well. And I’m not just being polite.

I’ve got big news this week, folks. BIG news.

And it goes a little something like this:

That’s right. This segment is all sorts of official now. Not that it wasn’t before, but you know what I mean. It’s only official once your face is plastered all over the place. I think Me? A Model? T-shirts are the next step, though I anticipate hating wearing a T-shirt.

Anyways, welcome to this week’s segment of Me? A Model?

I’ve been hearing a lot about the Olympics this week, and I’ve got to be honest here: I don’t know what all of the hullabaloo is about. Everyone is making such a big deal about these athletes and how good they are at their events. I don’t know, maybe I’m missing something, but is it really that impressive to be good at one event? I do a lot of them all the time and I’m really, really good at them all.

Swimming?

Dominated.

100 meter sprint?

Ain’t no thang.

Gymnastics?

I do back handsprings in my sleep.

Hurdles?

I’m so lithe it hurts. Just kidding, it doesn’t hurt. But I am lithe.

Surprised I know what “lithe” means? Too bad word knowledge isn’t an Olympic event.

Monster chasing?

No contest.

What’s that? Monster chasing isn’t an Olympic event?

Your jealousy is palpable.

Weightlifting?

What are these, feathers?

Wrestling?

I’m sorry, is this supposed to be hard?

And we already know that I look good in a medal. No surprise there.

And I obviously love America (and I look really good in red, white and blue).

So yeah. I guess those athletes in the Olympics are cool. And good for them for working so hard to get good at a sport. I prefer to be good at all sports, but that’s just me.

They should add a “laundry heist” event. I can’t even put into words how hard I would crush that, but I have a feeling that the words would include “make it rain” and “world records.” Just a hunch.