(Yeah, I know Roman numerals. No big deal.)
Hey friends! Welcome to this week’s edition of Me? A Model? hosted by your very own BMoney.
You probably heard that I’ve been on vaca, which is why so much time has passed since I last graced you all with this segment. Maybe once winter rolls around and my tan fades I’ll get back into a routine, but the summer is tough for me, what with all of the jet setting. You understand.
But I’m here now, so let’s make the most of it!
The time: last week
The place: the beach
I’m feeling: a little irritated, to be honest
Okay, so like I said before, I was on vacation last week. It was awesome and I had a great time, but there were some…moments. I generally like to try to stay positive (or should that be pawsitive?! HA!), because it’s hard to be negative when you’re as great as me, but sometimes it happens. And it happened one day last week.
I mean, I work really hard. My day-to-day is so jam packed with stuff that sometimes I just need to unwind and relax, you know? Well no, you probably don’t, but just pretend. So I’m always super busy and this was my week to just let my hair down and have fun, and THIS happens. I get corralled and leashed up like some sort of wild beast.
Let me set the scene: I’m tearing around the beach, like really gettin’ after it, probably topping out at 15 or 17 mph. Sand is flying, people are cheering, and I am just really feelin’ the wind in my ears. Suddenly I’m all “WHOA! What is that intoxicating aroma?” and I screech to a halt and dig up the most exquisite crab you’ve ever seen. I mean, this was a real specimen. You know how they say that, like a fine wine, dead crabs get better with age?
No? Well they do. Run with a different crowd, would you?
Anyways, this crab had been baking for awhile, you could just tell. So I dig right in, wondering how I got so lucky (this good looking and a delicious dead crab? It hardly seems fair!). I barely even get halfway through when everyone starts hollering at me. At first I thought they were hollers of “Woo! Go Brody! Enjoy that crab, it looks great!” but then I realized that they sounded mad. Like, really mad. And then Chrissy comes over and leashes me and is all like “Brody! That’s gross!” and “Brody! You’ll barf that up later, stop eating it!” And I was like “Um, jealous.” but I had already finished the crab so I just let her tie me to the umbrella.
But seriously, what the heck? Let me enjoy my vacation! You better believe that I gave some serious brooding face when she tried to take my picture later. Don’t worry though, we’re fine; she threw the ball into the ocean for me for 6 hours straight so I forgave her.
And I didn’t barf up the crab, thank you very much. I’ve got a stomach of steel.